Walls
by Good Graces
Summary: A different way Alex's panic attack could've gone. Michael/Alex


**Hey everybody! So I absolutely love Nikita! I've never been this obsessed with a show. Lol. And although not everyone agrees I completely think that Alex and Michael have amazing chemistry. Every single one of their scenes is amazing. :) So I felt like doing a fanfiction for them. Now this is the scene where Alex has the panic attack, but I twisted it around a little, and changed the ending. I hope you guys like it and let me know what you think. Thanks! :)**

One Shot - Walls

A smirk slid across Michael's face as he looked past Jaden's eagerly raised hand. "Alex…" Jaden's scoff was lost amongst Alex's thoughts and the sudden rush of blood to her head. She opened her blue eyes, reluctantly pushed herself off the wall and walked over to Michael, eyeing the close quarters beneath the jeep. Michael never ceased watching her as he handed her a flashlight and wire cutters. Alex took them from him and looked up into his eyes. A hint of solemn regret didn't escape Michael's notice before she sat on the floor and slipped her frame beneath the jeep.

_Keep calm, Alex. Keep calm. We've got to work through this fear… _Nikita's voice cropped into Alex's head. She hesitated before placing the flashlight in her mouth to free both hands.

"You have 30 seconds…and begin." The sound of Michael's voice distracted her from her thoughts for a moment.

_Okay separate the blue wire from the red. Then clip the blu- _Michael's footsteps echoed off the hard white floors. Alex looked over, and could feel her heartbeat quicken. His black shoes passed her two times. Alex swallowed.

Fire. Death. Burning.

Alex gasped for breath as if coming out from underwater. For a brief moment Michael's footing faltered. The blood was pounding out of Alex's heart as if it could not get out fast enough.

Trapped. Father. Dead.

The flames licked Alex's skin, and she could hear the horrid crackle of everything being burned. Her father lay motionless on the floor, fire consuming him.

"I can't move…" A fist had clenched Alex's lungs, and her breathing suddenly became labored. She stared at the timer on the fake bomb overhead, counting down; _9…8…7…6… "_Get me out of here."

Michael stopped his pacing and looked down at the Jeep.

She screamed, but couldn't hear her voice. All she could hear was the roar of the fire, all she could see were the black army boots, and all she could feel was trapped beneath the bed; utterly helpless.

And past and present morphed together.

Her screams bit through the quiet of the training room.

_What the hell. _Michael watched with utter confusion before he snapped into action. He ran to where her feet were sticking out and grabbed her legs. He pulled, and she slid out. Her thrashing was erratic, and her screams continued. She dropped the flashlight and wire cutters, as Michael pulled her away from the vehicle.

All of the recruits, even Jaden, watched in complete alarm.

"Alex!" Michael said loudly, making an attempt to subdue her. He grabbed her around her torso so that her arms lay flat against her sides, and her back lay against him. "It's okay," Michael whispered. Her whimpering persisted, but her body had begun to lose its energy. "It's alright, calm down…"His grip loosened a little, but Alex lifted her hand against his forearm and pulled at the sleeves of his fitted jacket. Michael moved one of his arms so that he could hold her hand against him as well. "It'll be okay…" he murmured into her hair. His cheek pressed against the side of her head, and he could feel every breath she took shake her. "Shhh…"

The sound of footsteps made Michael look up to see Amanda walking down the staircase. Her cool, calm expression caught his attention. The hint of a smirk almost lifted the corners of her mouth as she watched Alex continue to gasp for breath. Michael could feel anger well up within him, but kept it in check as he had learned to do.

"Panic attack?" Amanda questioned, raising an inquisitive, well manicured eye brow. Michael gave her a brooding look.

"What do you think?" he responded sarcastically with an undertone of irritation.

"Merely, trying to assess the situation."

By this time Alex's breathing had almost been restored to normal, and she suddenly became aware of the position she was in. Michael felt her shoulders relax as he brushed his thumb across her knuckles, and in that moment wanted to hold her tighter.

_Never show weakness…_ Alex opened her eyes and felt Michael's arms around her. For a moment she felt safe. Then she felt the walls within her rise up, and the embarrassment tinge her cheeks with a light shade of red. She released her grip on Michael's forearm, and pushed herself out of his grip and into a standing position. She looked around. At the recruits; stunned, Amanda; impossible to read, and Michael, rising from the floor; eyes watching her carefully.

"I-I.." Alex stuttered with her first few words. "I'm sorry…I don't know…" Alex pursed her lips and cursed herself for not being able to even talk straight so she squared her shoulders and walked out of the training room. A few moments of silence followed the echoing sound of footsteps.

Michael turned to the recruits, his suit slightly rumpled "Class dismissed for the day," he said authoritatively before he walked out of the room. He shook his head to release the weight of guilt from his shoulders. Amanda followed behind him, watching and analyzing his every movement.

"You're wanted in Operations…" she said coolly. Michael nodded his head slightly.

"I'll be there later."

"Percy said now."

Michael turned on Amanda, full on annoyance taking over his tone. "I'll be there. I need to check on something first."

"You mean Alex?" Amanda asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.

"Yes, I mean Alex, did you not see what happened in there, or were you too busy with something else?" Michael hissed.

"I'll take care of it Michael."

This truly pissed Michael off. He grabbed Amanda's shoulder, and looked into her icy blue eyes. "You think I don't know what you'll do to 'take care of it?'" Michael laughed bitterly. "Let me guess…you'll get her to overcome her fear by traumatizing her." Amanda blinked in response. "Exactly what I thought. _I've_ got this one, Amanda." With that Michael left her standing in the middle of the hallway; her high and mighty expression gone for a millisecond before being replaced with one of indifference.

"So stupid!" Alex yelled at the mirror in her quarters. The reflection that looked back at her still held fear within its eyes, and the vulnerability fed Alex's anger. All she saw was the same 13 year old girl she once was. She clenched her fist at her side, and smashed the mirror. Pieces of glass fell and shattered on the floor. Alex brought up her hand and examined her bloody knuckles, tracing the lines of the cuts and removing the shards of glass that remained lodged in her skin. She winced as she pulled out a particularly deep one. Then a loud knock echoed on the door.

"Just a second!" Alex yelled, feigning a calm expression. She stared at the mess on the floor and her bloody hand, and wondered how much trouble she could possibly get into in her first month of training. The door opened without warning. Michael walked in, watching her carefully. He looked over at the broken mirror, and then at Alex's hand. Almost imperceptibly he made of grimace of guilt and pain.

"Sorry," Alex said, "I slipped when I came in."

"Okay," he responded, a slight smirk of amusement playing across his features. _What a horrible liar…_ "We need to talk about what happened today."

Alex bit the inside corners of her mouth. "Look it was just a one time thing. Just kind of freaked me out. It won't happen-"

"Look, you can either deal with it with me or go about with it Amanda's way…" Michael's eyes explored Alex's for a moment. Just for a second she let down the walls. Just for a second he saw true pain. Then it was gone.

"My parents…" Alex looked away for a moment "…they were killed in a car accident…"

_Lie._

"A drunk driver ran them off the bridge into the river."

_Lie._

"I was able to get out. They weren't."

_…not a lie._

Michael waited a few seconds to see if she would say anymore. He nodded as if he understood her. "We're going to run this test again tomorrow, and you will be able to succeed, understood?" Michael felt himself revert back to mentor mode. Alex's eyes welled up a little, but she nodded. "Division can't afford to have a liability."

"Okay." Alex looked down at her hand which Michael had almost made her forget about. A drop of blood fell to the floor. Michael stepped forward, and took her forearm. He brought the wound close to his eyes, and examined the deep cuts. Alex watched the care and discipline he used in examine her wounds. He held her arm gently, but she winced when pulled out a final piece of glass she had missed. He looked up at her, and held her gaze for longer than was necessary.

"You'll need to head to the clinic for this." Alex nodded, taking her arm back and heading to the door.

"Oh, and Alex?" She turned around with her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah?"

"Watch your footing next time." Humor danced across Michael's eyes, and Alex almost felt herself smile at him. Almost.

**Thanks for reading! :)**

**Sincerely,**

**peachenheimer**


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